how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
