Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
