wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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