I wish life had little blips of pornography
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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