Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
