i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
