she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
