I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have fence marks all over my body
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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