I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
