just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Four minutes until I can fart!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
