Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
