When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
