lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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