He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
