I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
