marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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