someone get that fucking seahorse.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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