hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
