Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
