We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
