how can u be prego again
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
