worst night to have a conscience
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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