you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
