Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
