Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
