you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
