We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
