Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
