Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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