it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
