just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
