Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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