umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
