Whoa Z and x make the same sound
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize