My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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