Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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