He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
