How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
