Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
