Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
