I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
