biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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