Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
