i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
