You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
