So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
