Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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