...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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