you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm both gender and math confused
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
