but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
